First, it's more important to be less depressed than to be happier
Let's look at the number of patients taking antidepressants per thousand population. When 13 out of every 1,000 people in Korea take antidepressants, 70 people in Finland take antidepressants. Is it because people in my country are less sad than Finns, or because they are less depressed? Popularly, Finland is widely regarded as the happiest country in the world.
In addition to Finland, Norway, Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, Sweden and Australia have high percentages of people taking antidepressant medications. What's surprising is that it's mostly consistent with the top of the United Nations' happiness rankings in the past. The 5 countries that take the most depression medications are among the top 10 happiest countries?
This means that you need to actively treat depression in order to be happy.Getting rid of the one thing that hinders happiness is more important to be happy than the ten things that help you be happy.
Professor Kim Jae-jin of the Department of Psychiatry at Gangnam Severance Hospital divided the subjects into happy people with high satisfaction and unhappy people with low satisfaction. In addition, when positive words such as 'freedom', 'respect' and 'love' were given, and negative words such as 'crime', 'failure' and 'fear' were shown, MRI scans were performed to observe the activity of the brains between the two groups.
The researchers predicted that the activity of the prefrontal cortex would increase when they saw positive words in the group with high satisfaction, but the results were quite the opposite. The group with high life satisfaction responded more positively to negative words than to positive ones. While looking at negative words, the amygdala lobe, an emotion processing area located deep in the brain, was activated. This means that when something bad happens to a person who is usually happy, the brain actively recognizes it and tries its best to solve it.
Depression is the number one enemy that threatens happiness. When you feel depressed, you should actively seek treatment.
Second, let's not compare
It's common sense, but it's an important secret to happiness. Finland and Japan have similar income levels, but Finland is at the top of the happiness index, while Japan is in the lower middle range.
Scholars attribute this to Finland's individualistic culture. Comparing ourselves excessively with others makes us unhappy. It is natural for a person who thought he would be happy if he earned 5 million won to feel unhappy even after earning 5 million won compared to the person next to him who earns 7 million won.
Third, let's use "fox's sour grapes"
So how can you avoid comparing yourself to others? He looked at the grapes he couldn't eat and said, "Those grapes must be sour. It's going to sour, and it won't taste good." Do you remember the fairy tale of the fox? The fox mindset, which devalues what you don't have, is not a cowardly mindset, but one of the most effective ways to be happy.
Let's take a look at an experiment that Harvard psychology professor Dan Gilbert introduced in a TED talk. The researchers held a photography class for Harvard students. The pupils were asked to take 12 pictures, then choose two of their favorites and take home only one of them. Half of the students were given four days of exchange, and the other half were not. The researchers expected that the group that was able to decide on a photo more carefully and had the opportunity to exchange would be more satisfied.
However, most of the students who had the opportunity to exchange were dissatisfied with the photos they had, and the students in the group who did not have the opportunity to exchange were very happy with the paintings they owned. If you get stuck in what you have chosen and what you have given up, you will not be satisfied.
Fourth, it is more important to spend money well than to make it well
According to a survey of 1,797 people in the 2030 generation by the job search site Saramin, about 80% of people said that they needed "financial space" as the most necessary thing for happiness. When Gallup Korea and Chosun Ilbo polled 5,190 people in 10 countries, 92 percent of South Koreans said there was a relationship between income and happiness. Many of our people think they need more money to be happy.
But Michael Norton, an associate professor of marketing at Harvard Business School, and Elizabeth Dunn, an associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, say it's more about how you spend your money than how you make it. Here are three ways to spend happiness from their book.
1. Make a donation
Researchers conducted an interesting experiment on the campus of the University of Britain. Gather volunteers and hand out envelopes with $5 and $20 in them, saying, "Spend this money for yourself by 5 o'clock today" or "Spend it on others." After placing an order, I compared the differences. The participants, most of whom were college students, used the money to buy earrings or dolls for their nieces and nephews. Later, when the happiness index was measured in batches, it was found that regardless of the amount of money, those who spent money for others were happier. Many students bought drinks at Starbucks as soon as they received the envelope, and even then, the happiness of those who bought their drinks was greater than those who bought their own. This experiment was also carried out in Uganda and yielded the same results.
2. Spend money on experiences
Spending money on a trip or going to a concert is more satisfying than buying a nice outfit or a nice home.This is good information for those who used to spend money only on the former, thinking that things remain and experiences are only momentary. Researchers at the University of British say that people are less likely to regret having the opportunity to experience than to buy materially, regardless of the amount. Even if the experience is painful, like hiking on a day of heavy rain.
3. Buy your time
Large Harvard studies in the Netherlands, the United States, Canada, and Denmark have shown that buying time contributes more to happiness than buying things. Time-buying refers to the act of freeing up free time by entrusting other people with troublesome tasks, such as hiring a worker to take care of household chores. Buying time can be applied not only to the big things of paying and hiring others, but also to the little things. You can do the opposite of going to a discount mart farther away to save a few thousand dollars, or living in a relatively cheap place even if it takes more time to commute to save on rent.
Fifth, build good relationships
According to a 75-year study conducted by Harvard University and interviewed 724 teenagers from Boston's poor neighborhoods, Harvard University found that the answer to happiness lies not in high education, wealth, or fame, but in relationships. The more people who had good relationships with their family, friends, and neighbors from a young age, the happier they felt even when they were in their 80s and older.
Professor Robert Waldinger, who led the study, says that happiness is the accumulation of good relationships. Sacrificing good relationships for worldly success, such as money or career advancement, is not the right choice from the perspective of happiness.
Sixth, go to the side of the happy person
But building good relationships is easier said than done. If we find it difficult to keep our relationships on track, our alternative is to be close to someone who is already happy. Choi In-chul, a professor of psychology at Seoul National University, said in broadcasts and lectures, "If you want to be happy, go to the side of happy people," which drew the sympathy of many people. He emphasizes that people's minds are influenced by their environment, and that the most important thing about their environment is the people around them.
Let's take a look at the study by Christakis and Fowler that he cites. They pictoried the social network of a local community. In the picture, light green is a happy person, blue is an unhappy person. It's worth noting that they are clustered together in similar colors. There are many happy people around happy people, and there are many unhappy people around unhappy people. In order to be happy, we must make an effort to be close to those who are happy now.
Seventh, get a pet
If you find it difficult to have a good relationship, I recommend getting a pet. American humorist Josh Billings once said, "Dogs are the only beings on the planet who love you more than the dogs themselves." This is because dogs are beings who give us unconditional love.
What effect does the love and pleasure of pets have on us? According to a 2011 study by the American Psychological Association, pets can be an important source of social and emotional support for people. People who have pets have a lot of pride, are physically healthy, and don't feel lonely. Regardless of your situation, your pet will satisfy your social needs and reduce stress.
Having a pet has a positive impact on your mental health, as well as your physical health. In 2013, the American Heart Association found that when we have pets, our blood pressure and cholesterol levels drop, and we are less likely to become obese. Pets increase physical activity, which reduces cardiovascular disease.
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